Can Ponies Throw Kunai?
by Level 250 Wild Goldeen
Summary: It's commonly believed that your soul is what makes you who you are, not your body. At the end of the day, no matter what he looks like a ninja will be a ninja and a hero will be a hero- right? . . . R-right? Not nearly as serious as it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything used in this work of fiction. There, half-assedly done and to the point- my trademarks.

* * *

_The words don't always come easy, I guess. I'm just no good at sitting still and focusing to begin with . . . and some things I just don't want to remember. Some things, though . . . I don't ever want to forget._

_I've always been a doer, a fighter- not so much a thinker. Certainly not a writer. But time keeps moving, passing even me by._

_I get asked a lot of questions, you know. Who I really am. Where I came from. My past. Only a few, a very, truly precious few have those answers. I feel like it's time to leave something behind while I still have the chance. To answer those questions for all the world. Leave something of myself behind, I suppose. Yeah, something like that._

_In a way it can be said it all began one fateful night in Konoha. A horrific encounter that ended so many lives and scarred so many more, my own included. That's not where I think it really starts though. I think the truly important things began with my new life, my new precious ones. So that's where I'll start._

_Better be careful though. If my writing's too sloppy or I ramble on too much Twi might lecture me again. Spelling and grammar. Sentence structure. Something like that. Hehe._

* * *

Nine impossibly massive tails waved lazily in the breeze. This was, after all, the most anticipated event of the day. Sunset. No need to ruin it with unnecessary wastes of energy.

Thinking back, Kurama could remember the day that its container decided to "spruce the place up because I'm freakin' tired of landing my happy ass in a damn sewer every time I hit my head too hard. Which is way too often, by the way.". The dreary mental landscape was soon replaced by an endless sunlit field. An ancient tree stood near the center, a single conspicuous piece of paper pasted haphazardly to its giant trunk.

The peaceful moments had been interrupted by periodic rumbling in the distance. Storm clouds, thunder clashing violently on the northern horizon. The setting sun seemed more dismal this time, the globe of warmth and light sinking more quickly than usual and rapidly plunging the land into darkness.

Ears pricking ever so slightly, the Kyuubi turned its head to pin its expected guest with a somber gaze. **"I've been waiting for you, brat."**

A figure, dwarfed by the massive nine-tailed fox, emerged from behind the tree. Using one hand to steady himself against the old tree a familiar blonde emerged into the growing twilight and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, furball. I was kind of busy fighting an epic last battle to save the world and all that. Did I keep you waiting long?"

With a nearly imperceptible shake of the head the Kyuubi returned to staring at the setting sun, mindful to avoid looking at the gathering storm quickly closing in from the north. **"You're dying. Is it worth so much to you? Your victory?"**

Leaning more of his weight against the tree and resting his head against the rough bark, the young man joined his . . . prisoner? Unwilling companion? No . . . friend. Naruto joined his friend in watching the sun dip down below the western edge of this world he himself crafted. His eyes were somber and the grin had faded away completely as if it had never existed to begin with, imaginary like the grassy field around them. "I had to win no matter what. I promised. I promised everyone I would protect them and that's exactly what I did."

Letting loose a grunt of effort at the sudden strain the shinobi detached himself from the old tree and padded closer to Kurama. "I still have one last promise to keep, though."

He was met with deep, rumbling laughter. **"Oh? The great Uzumaki would fight to keep his word even on the edge of death?"**

Finally reaching his intended destination, Naruto stood beside his infinitely larger- and arguably grouchier- counterpart. "You know me so well. Why, we're practically an old married couple! We _have_ technically been together for almost twenty years. Oh! And to think, I'd nearly forgotten to get you an anniversary present!"

Eyes closing, the Kyuubi did not bother to respond to the halfhearted joke. This was oddly painful. Confusing as well because it could not understand why it hurt so.

Sensing the mood in the air Naruto decided to do what he did best. Second best, too. He cut straight to the heart of the matter and did the unexpected. "It's already gone now. The seal, I mean. You're free now, just like I said."

Kurama's eyes shot open again in surprise and some vague sense of trepidation as it fought the urge to look at the paper seal that it could already sense was gone. **"You . . . you would really . . ?"**

The blonde ninja pressed on as if he hadn't heard the fox speak at all. "Now you better not go on a rampage or something. I'll be watching you. If you're not on your best behavior I'll haunt your furry ass for the rest of eternity."

Sagging slightly, he fought to stay on his feet. "You can leave whenever you want."

A short, labored intake of breath. "You can leave whenever you want, but . . . I'd appreciate it if you would stay here for just a little bit longer. Just to watch the sun set with me, one last time."

His voice had dropped lower and lower toward the end, the Kyuubi noted with a growing feeling of- displeasure? The tiny human was visibly shuddering with the strain of simply standing now. Tiny motes of blue light drifted away from the jinchūriki who now seemed . . . less. Like a vibrant shout that had been quieted to a breathless whisper.

Gently, the nine-tails scooped up the dying boy with a single tail and held him close under its chin. A familiar scent, embedded deep into memory from years of familiarity, entered its sensitive nose. It hadn't been able to detect Naruto's scent even when right next to each other. That, too, was fading. **"I see. Even as you leave this world you would still seek to bring happiness to those around you. Do you not understand the folly of such reasoning, Naruto?"**

The sky had already darkened. Only a sliver of light remained over the western horizon now. This would soon fade away as well, lost forever. Yes, forever . . .

"**Foolish child. In what world did you ever think that death and joy go hand in hand? Even the world of shadows that you shinobi live, toil and die in is not so cruel."**

The weight in Kurama's tail was gone now. It was as if it was merely trying to hold up air. Some part of the fox rallied against the idea of glancing down at its fragile cargo. It won. **"And you. You would have me simply leave this place, leave YOU, and what? Enjoy my newfound freedom? Perhaps frolic in a meadow somewhere with all the little woodland creatures?! Do you think ME capable of that particular brand of cruelty as well?!"**

The Kyuubi's voice had risen to a fevered pitch, booming out across the land. The fox raged now, all the world quaking at the frenzied wrath of eight tails lashing furiously at nothing and everything. **"Perhaps it never occurred to you that I could be somehow **_**inconvenienced**_** or maybe even **_**upset**_** at your untimely passing?! That I might just prefer it if you actually survived your idiotic quest and found a bit of happiness for YOURSELF, some measure of PEACE?!"**

It howled to the high heavens, drowning out even the thunder that crept ever closer.

"**Did such thoughts never even manage to span the endless gap of stupidity that exists between your ears, fool child?!"**

Just as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. Kurama lifted the pitiful remains of its former jailer to eye level. All that remained now was a blue colored fog, vaguely humanoid in shape. Even that was evaporating into nothingness as it watched on with the calm of one who knows what must be done and has accepted it entirely. Softly, it spoke again. **"No, boy. Our fates are intertwined, yours and mine. Where you go, I go- and I choose the chill of the grave for neither of us."**

Red tendrils of power began to leak out from the fox's body, traveling up its tail and coiling around the blue wisps, binding them together. The rest of its tails snaked forward to wrap around them tenderly. Protectively. Possessively. **"No. Not even Death may part us. I won't let it."**

* * *

The outside world was an eerie reflection of Naruto's mindscape now- or perhaps it would be more accurate to say the mindscape was the reflection. Rain had begun to pour harshly from above, gusts of wind uncaringly battering an already broke landscape. Flashes of lightning illuminated a hellish scene from a truly demented nightmare.

Craters littered the area like hideous pockmarks. Already they were filled to the brim with murky rainwater, bubbling over and running in dark rivulets that swirled around the burned and smashed husks of trees, little more than scarred stumps and scattered tinder.

Bodies, torn and bloodied, dotted the earth. It was some small mercy that they had begun to sink into the mud and away from sight. Already many of them resembled nothing more than grotesque tumors marring the ground.

One such grisly protuberance swelled and heaved momentarily before bursting, drowned soil flung about in all directions.

In its place a bedraggled youth crouched low. Soaked blonde hair draped down over his eyes, casting them in darkness. A shuddering breath escaped the hunched figure as it slowly raised itself to full height. Red, slitted eyes cast about the area for several heartbeats before settling on something half buried in a shallow ditch nearby.

Naruto's body began to take halting steps toward its goal, movements unnatural and wooden. It was, after all, merely a puppet for another and recent death had made the joints stiff and unyielding. Even if it could be forced to draw in air and its heart coaxed into beating, this body was still dead. Even the Kyuubi's greatest efforts had not been able to keep it alive.

Another would be needed.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, the body reached its goal. A pony, covered in mud, breath shallow as its eyes stared sightlessly at nothing. Either a wild creature unfortunately caught in the crossfire or a beast of burden for some ninja or other. It mattered not. The beast's back had been broken by the unparalleled destructive forces being thrown around what used to be a small forest. Fortuitously, it still lived- even if it was already breathing its last.

It could be used.

Without further contemplation or delay, the fox in a young man's body knelt down and sank unnaturally long, sharp canines into the pony's neck. After a few seconds flashes of demonic red chakra began to flare around the bite wounds, slowly spreading out before eventually encompassing the entire beast. Seconds more and the blonde ninja's eyes returned to their normal blue before becoming glassy, empty. Dead.

Naruto's body crumpled backwards, sinking back into the welcoming mud. It did not matter in the least, however, to Kurama as the fox set about mending the pony's broken body. A few quick alterations were made here and there even as the nine-tails began to gather the remainder of its considerable power. After all, no matter what the body it is the soul that determines who you are.

And who Naruto Uzumaki happened to be is an idiotic child that would likely get himself killed again on some inane fool's errand, pony body or no.

Clearly, this could not be allowed to happen. Not again.

Clearly, the stupid brat would be better off somewhere more . . . peaceful. A place where his heroic nature wouldn't get him offed by yet another megalomaniac on a power trip gunning after world domination.

It also wouldn't hurt to figure out a place where the stupid boy- colt? Foal? Oh, whatever. A place where Naruto would be able to fit in. Hmm . . .

With that in mind, the great Kyuubi no Kitsune began to craft an eldritch construct of a scale never before witnessed by mortals.

But really, it practically sneezed minor destructive miracles that were almost as amazing. Almost.

* * *

Near the outskirts of the Everfree Forest, a burst of arcane fire announced the unceremonious arrival of one Naruto Uzumaki. Smoke still drifted lazily in the air, obscuring the sleeping young nin, er, pony from view.

Heh, with any luck the Kyuubi had managed to incinerate one or two adorable, defenseless woodland creatures with that completely unnecessary flashy entrance.

. . . What? Even great tailed beasts had to have a hobby of some sort. Some just happened to be more productive than others. And less psychotic.

With a yawn, the nine-tailed fox tapped into this world's nearby ley lines of arcane power and began to take in some basic information about this . . . Equestria? Interesting.

Another yawn.

It had expended almost the entirety of its considerable strength in its recent endeavors. It would need to rest for a long while in order to replenish itself. It could sort through the information later, after awakening again.

Still, though, Kurama couldn't help but feel that it had forgotten something . . . important. Oh, yes! Vocal cords. After all, apparently the ponies of this world could speak. With the alterations to Naruto's new body he would blend in reasonably well- however, it was still just a regular pony from another world. It could only really neigh and snort.

Hmm, maybe that should have been a higher priority to fix up than a few cosmetic alterations?

. . . Nah.

The brat could stand to learn how to talk less, anyway.

Kurama could just change the body to be able to talk after it woke up. Whenever that would be.

Not Kurama's problem, that's when _that_ would be.

With a snort, the fox curled up in preparation to doze off within its new home- right next to Naruto's own soul. Much better than that stupid seal. It was pleasantly warm here. Not temperature wise, mind you.

Perfect to give the Kyuubi a few good dreams about combusting bunnies, detonating deer and igniting . . . uh . . . iguanas.

Opening one eye for a moment just before drifting off, Kurama raised a single tail up, smirked and . . .

. . . effectively punched Naruto. In the soul. Socked him right in his existence.

Probably not the nicest way to wake the boy-turned-pony up but it sure was effective. And fun. Cathartic, really.

See? Things were looking up already.

* * *

Naruto woke with a start, twitching violently. From his position on his back all four of his hooves waved in the air comically.

_OW! My soul! Was that you, furball?! What in the he- wait, hooves? HOOVES?!_

The deceptive peace of the Everfree Forest was shattered by an earth-shaking neigh, driven by fury and confusion.

_*&^ #($& (#$*^$ *# (?!_

This, too, was comical.

* * *

Ahaha. A Possessive Kyuubi. Kind of like having a possessive girlfriend. That you can never get rid of. And that happens to also be an ancient entity of unparalleled destructive potential. Yep, that there's wifey, Naruto.


	2. Chapter 2

The Disclaimer from the first chapter (which was more of a prologue) still applies. To this whole story and all shenanigans contained therein.

Just to be noted, this starts off something like a year before the first episode of MLP. Also to note . . . I'm not actually a fan of Naruto (the anime or manga, I think the guy who writes that crap is . . . well.), I actually vastly prefer Naruto fanfiction to the original canon. Similarly, I never actually saw MLP before I started writing this- though, reluctantly, I have started to watch some of it as a necessity. Because this idea won't leave me alone and it keeps growing. I don't even remember how I stumbled onto this section of the site but I think I might be starting to regret it. Curses~

* * *

_I didn't understand what had happened to me at first. How could I? I woke up in a completely different place in a completely different body. Angry Lord Fuzzy was no help at all. I was alone again, something that terrifies me to this day. The only thing that scares me more is not being able to protect my precious people._

_It wasn't the first time I've had to figure things out all on my own, though. I don't like to think about it but the truth is I got used to the loneliness a long time ago. Even if I was finally able to find other people who acknowledge me and helped me move past it, I still remember how it felt._

_I hate that feeling more than anything, you know. I hate not being able to forget it even more._

_It was always so painful, sitting by myself on that old swing in front of the academy. That's what stands out the most from my childhood. It hurt enough to make me forget something important for the longest time- that no matter what happens, I am who I am. I'm still me._

_And Naruto Uzumaki doesn't quit. No matter what._

* * *

**The Everfree Forest, Where Last We Left Off**

_That's it. I friggin' quit._

Much to his dismay, no matter how hard he tried Naruto couldn't verbally express his frustration except in the form of a neigh, whinny or snort. Just what had that stupid furball done now? Speaking of which . . .

It had been over an hour since he'd begun trying to get something out of the fox. He'd tried cajoling, cursing, begging, bribery, threats and even singing that old Rick Astley song in his head to get the Kyuubi to say something. Anything.

He got nothing.

The (ex?-)shinobi was starting to think that maybe there wasn't any one there to answer him anymore. He had kind of died in a blaze of epic glory, after all. Naruto could distinctly remember setting the nine-tails free before everything started getting all hazy and afterlife-y.

Wait, wait wait. Was that it? Was this the afterlife?

Glancing about, he took stock of his surroundings. A pleasant looking forest? Sunlight streamed down through the thick canopy, somehow muted but not quite to the point of being called dreary. Somewhere nearby Naruto could hear squirrels chittering amongst themselves over the sound of rushing water. Not too shabby a place for eternity, he supposed. At least it seemed peaceful enough. That he didn't have a problem with.

Now what he DID have a problem with . . .

Lifting up a hoof, he scrutinized it closely as his ears flicked in irritation. It was a leg like you'd expect to see on some sort of horse or something, covered in dark red fur and ending in . . . a hoof.

_Congratulations, Naruto. You know your animal anatomy._

Banishing the sarcastic thought into the darkest corners of his mind and half-hoping it would somehow grow teeth and bite the Kyuubi in the ass (if it was still in there somewhere), he lowered said hoof back to the ground and huffed in annoyance. Either the fox had even more of a sick sense of humor than he thought or this was just the way things were for those who passed on to the next world.

So maybe it was Kami that had the sick sense of humor then. Because that would be so much better.

_Steady, Naruto. You've been through worse than being turned into some sort of animal and waking up in a completely unfamiliar place . . . wait, no I haven't. This sucks!_

What was this, anyway? Some sort of henge? Some sort of genjutsu?

Figuring he might as well test that theory, Naruto began to feel around for his chakra. His new body instantly relaxed as he could feel the familiar energy swirling about inside of him. The chakra pathways were all kinds of weird and out of whack but at least they were there. This, he could work with.

Breathing deep, he closed his eyes and focused on stopping the flow of chakra in his body. Though this wasn't a technique he was particularly good at to begin with Naruto still warily noted that it took several moments longer than usual.

Once he'd finally managed to wrestle his own chakra circulatory system into stillness he exhaled sharply while violently expelling as much chakra as he could. '_Kai!'_

While the results weren't nearly as spectacular as what he was used to, Naruto was still confident it was more than enough to get the job done. He could worry about his weakened chakra system later, after this weird illusion was broken.

Grinning to himself in victory he opened his eyes and looked down at his human feet.

…

… That were still covered in red fur. And still ended in hooves.

_Oh what the hell?!_

For the next several minutes he attempted to dispel the obvious illusion over and over again, growing more desperate and sloppy with each attempt.

Finally, nearly tumbling over from exhaustion, Naruto was forced to admit something to himself.

Genjutsu this clearly was not.

Suddenly parched, Naruto shook his head a bit to clear it of the nagging dizziness and stumbled toward the sound of running water nearby. He'd get some water in his stomach before he passed out and then try to figure it out again later.

Emerging from a bush, the unwitting animal found himself standing before a crystal clear stream. Coming to a halt before it, he eagerly dipped his head and began to drink deeply. At the very least, the water here was pure and delicious.

Refreshed, he took a step back and tilted his head in thought. Maybe this little stream ended in some sort of pond or lake nearby? With water this clear he would be able to get a good look a t his own reflection- something that brought about equal parts curiosity and dread. With nothing better to do, however, Naruto couldn't quite come up with any reason not to at least try.

Nearly two hours later Naruto found himself within viewing distance of a small, still pond. Following the stream had paid off, sort of. A rather large part of him was still not looking forward to this at all.

Not one to back down and give in (despite warnings, protests and common sense a lot of the time), he broke into a trot and closed in on the pond, all the while trying not to think too deeply on the fact that he was quite literally trotting.

Coming to a halt just a few feet away, Naruto hesitated for a few seconds before cautiously easing himself forward to the edge of the pool. True to his prediction the surface was indeed quite mirror-like. He completely disregarded such an insignificant fact, however, in the face of . . . well, his face.

Impossibly large cobalt eyes stared right back at him from atop an equine muzzle that was as crimson as the fur on his legs. The only familiar thing besides the eye color were the distinguishing whisker marks that let him know that he was, in fact, looking at himself.

Somewhat startled even though he was expecting something like this, Naruto slowly began to twist and turn this way and that to get a good look at every inch of himself.

A spiky blonde mane flowed in waves from the top of his head all the way to the base of his tail which seemed to gladly continue the trend until ending in a bushy point. Oddly enough, although the young man had clearly somehow turned into a young pony, he was still clothed and even outfitted as a ninja.

His body donned a cloak that was made in the same fashion as his father's infamous short-sleeved coat. The cloak was bound together across his chest by a familiar metal plate- his forehead protector. A kunai pouch and shuriken holster were strapped to his respective forearms. He even had Tsunade's old necklace still bound around his neck. All in all, he was most definitely some sort of small horse- a pony? A pony that was armed to the teeth, apparently, but a pony nonetheless.

_Well, if I have to be some kind of pony at least I get to look awesome and badass doing it._

Somehow, that thought brought him little to no comfort at all. His attention was quickly grabbed by something odd, however. A strange symbol on his flank. It looked an awful lot like . . .

Like . . .

_Oh. Hell. No._

The mark in question was undoubtedly shaped like the Kyuubi curled into itself as if sleeping, nine tails encircling it in a protective fashion.

Really now, this was just too much. Even in the afterlife Naruto was going to be blatantly marked by his jinchūriki status? Who made up the stupid rules for life after death, anyway? There was definitely one particular freshly-minted pony that wanted to have a word with such an individual. A word involving several kunai and the most wicked chakra infused mule kick to the groin ever imagined.

Great. Naruto could just imagine Kurama laughing its tails off from wherever it was. This weird tattoo looking thing was like being marked as property or something.

That thought sent a definitely unpleasant chill up and down his spine.

A sudden, frightful growl erupted from alarmingly close by. In the blink of an eye, Naruto had somehow managed to instinctively draw a kunai with his mouth and took a modified defensive taijutsu stance. Tensed for battle, he waited for some unspeakably horrific and vicious creature to present itself for mortal combat and test his equine might.

Another terrifying and guttural rumble emerged from somewhere nearby. It was close. Above him? No, there was nothing in the trees around him.

Look underneath the underneath. Below him? No, wait. That was ninjas, not ravenous wild beasts.

All around him? Was he surrounded? It sounded like it came from a single source but it was hard to tell with the way the sound bounced around off the trees and thick canopy above.

Whatever-it-was bellowed again, sounding even louder than before. What was it? A mythical dragon come to devour him? One of the massive, deadly inhabitants of the Forest of Death? Perhaps even a miniature giant space ham-

**GRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!**

. . . Wait, no. That sounded way too familiar.

Dropping his defensive stance, he eyed his stomach.

It growled back.

Gingerly, he poked it with a hoof.

He could almost swear it tried to bite off said hoof.

Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his head and grinned. _Guess I better find something to eat around __here._

* * *

**Shinobi World, Ground Zero of the Last Battle (Dun dun duuuuuun!)**

Shikamaru wasn't having a good day. Or week. Or month. Or year. Or . . .

Anyway, finding himself in the middle of a storm searching for any signs of his loud-mouthed blonde friend certainly wasn't how he would like to spend his time. Mind you, it wasn't due to laziness or a disinterest in said friend's well-being. Rather, it was a preference that said idiot friend not go running off half cocked with no real idea whatsoever what he would do. After all, "find all the bad guys and beat their asses straight into the ground" is not exactly a valid battle strategy, even if it did suit Naruto a little too well.

Grimacing, the Nara heir cast his eyes about the cataclysmic battleground. With the aid of a minor fire jutsu he lit one of his trusty Ninja Smokes.

_Ninja Smokes, the brand of cigarette for ninjas by ninjas! Guaranteed to light and completely waterproofed against torrential downpours, titanic battles atop the ocean waves or the most massive of ridiculously overpowered water jutsu! Ninja Smokes, the brand you can trust with your **life**. (Now including such fresh new flavors as 'Hidden Senbon', 'Surprise Explosive', 'Secret Lockpick' and the newly resurrected all-time favorite, 'Is-That-a-God-Damn-Flamethrower?!'. Mmm, barbecue.)_

With a slight shake of his head he focused back on the task at hand. Stupid ninja commercials and their catchy ninja jingles.

He began to trudge forward through the mud again when a flash of lightning briefly illuminated a splotch of bright yellow several yards away. Breaking into a dead sprint he rapidly closed the distance, dropping to his knees mid-run and sliding the remainder of the way.

His eyes had not deceived him. It was indeed the still form of Naruto. Hesitating for only a moment, his hand shot forward to check for a pulse. Several anxious moments went by as he waited for any sign of life at all.

Nothing.

Feeling some part of himself starting to wither and die, he gently lifted his friend's body from the grasping mud and cradled it close.

Too slow. He'd been too damn slow. And Naruto had paid the price!

Leaning forward and gritting his teeth, Shikamaru willed the pain in his heart to subside just long enough for him to bring his friend home one last time. Just as he began to lift Naruto up, however, he caught a peculiar red glow from the corner of his eye.

Turning his head to focus completely on the strange phenomenon he examined it closely for a scant handful of seconds before realizing that it was shimmering crimson writing burnt into the ground with powerful chakra. Someone had left a message here, obviously meant to be found by whoever happened along. Warily, he began to read.

_Salutations, whichever ninja meat-sack manages to find this message first! I, the great Kyuubi no Kitsune have deigned to leave you with a parting message. Do not fear for your idiot friend Naruto- though his pitiful body may rest here before you, his soul still lives on. _

_No, I mean literally and not in the spiritual sense. His soul now inhabits a new body that I have seen fit to transport far and away where the little blonde monkey won't be able to get himself killed again. There's no need to thank me- frankly, I hate you all and you as a species disgust me. I have my own agenda to keep to. _

_Don't worry though, Naruto will live on in a state far enough removed from absolute misery that you need not trouble your pathetic little mind with the implications. So, ta-ta for now!_

To top it all off, a childish caricature of the Kyuubi was burned into the ground just below the moderately perturbing message.

For a good ten minutes he could only blankly stare at the message. Finally, he unceremoniously dumped Naruto's body back into the mud and dug around in his pockets for another cigarette before lighting it. At least in a world gone batshit crazy his Ninja Smokes still made some sense.

Only a single, muttered word managed to escape his mouth as he sucked in a lungful of smoke and exhaled slowly. "Troublesome . . ."

* * *

**Sweet Apple Acres**

"Consarnit, we're already behind schedule as it is. Big Mac, any ideas?"

The speaker, a light orange mare, raised a hoof to adjust the stetson hat resting atop a blonde mane set in a practical ponytail- ironically mirrored by her pony tail. Her cutie mark, a trio of apples, appeared right at home in the sprawling apple orchard. Troubled green eyes swiveled over to her companion, an uncommonly large red stallion with a light orange mane donning a yoke. Identical green eyes and freckles as well as the bisected green apple cutie mark indicated he was likely related to the much smaller mare. "Nnope. Sorry Applejack, I'm no carpenter."

Applejack let out an unladylike snort and pawed the ground in irritation. "Then just what in tarnation are we supposed to do? We can't fix this ourselves and we won't be able to take it into town until tomorrow morning at the earliest." She stared accusingly at the object in question. "Who knows how long it'll take 'em to get this old thing goin' again?"

"Not me."

"You're a regular barrel full of helpfulness, Big McIntosh."

"Eeyup."

The mare began to prance back and forth impatiently. "And what're we supposed to do about the bits to get it done? I reckon money doesn't exactly grow on trees 'round these parts."

"Nnope."

Coming to a halt and throwing her hooves into the air Applejack cast a critical eye at her newfound arch-nemesis. Predictably, the old wagon didn't even have the decency to meet her gaze as its broken wheel rested several feet away from the body. "Right in the middle of applebuck season to boot! If we can't figure somethin' out then this here cart's about as useful to us as buttons on a dishrag!"

"Eeyup."

"Of all the times for that old wagon to give out on us!"

"Eeyup."

". . . You're doing that on purpose now, aren't ya?"

"Eeyup."

"Big Mac, brother or no I'm only givin' you to the count of three. One."

The draft stallion craned his neck to meet his sister's narrowed gaze. "Two."

Big McIntosh just cracked a small smile in response to Applejack's mighty temper. ". . . Eeyup."

And with that, the stallion took off like a rocket with an orange blur right on his heels a moment later. Unbeknownst to them an amused shadow in a tree overlooking the old apple cart watched the departing dust cloud disappear over a hill before turning its attention to the horizon. In about an hour the night would be setting in. Perfect.

In the distance it could just make out an angry female voice. "Get back here so I can fix **your** wagon, Big Mac!"

* * *

**Sweet Apple Acres, Four Hours Later**

Bleary eyed and stumbling, a small yellow filly made her way out of the Apple family home and into the many rows of apple trees. A large pink ribbon adorned her red mane, below which sat two orange eyes that squinted out into the darkness.

It wasn't that often that she wandered out of bed for a midnight snack. This was one of those times, however, and she had a craving for apples. Not just any apple would do, though- it had to come from her favorite tree.

Some ponies might think it odd that young Apple Bloom even had a favorite apple tree but this one was special. Since as far back as she could remember she had always felt like this tree would one day have a great significance in her life. That one day something truly magnificent would happen because of this very tree. She wasn't sure what but she just _knew_ deep down inside that it was important.

Carefully she stepped past the old broken wagon, mindful of running into it in the dark. Her sister had been rather vocal about her displeasure with the busted apple cart. The last thing Apple Bloom wanted was to hurt herself over it and set Applejack off on another rant, not to mention explaining just why she got it in her head to go wandering around at night to begin with. Hadn't Big Mac said that the wheel came off, though? _It doesn't look broken. Maybe they were just bein' silly?_

Successfully navigating around the obstacle the young filly found herself staring up into the shadowed boughs of her favorite tree. Tilting her head cutely she wondered for a moment just how exactly she was going to get one of the apples down from way up there. _Well what now? I can't exactly reach up and pick one of those apples._

Sitting back on her haunches, Apple Bloom peered intently up into the fruit-laden branches. _AJ and Big Mac say I'm still way too little to buck apples. Guess I'll just have to show them!_

Her posture set in determination, she stood up and whirled around to face away from the towering trunk. Squeezing her eyes shut in concentration she gave one mighty kick and then another for good measure.

The powerful twin impacts echoed in the night, prompting her to spin around and open her eyes wide in hopeful expectation. Her expression fell when she didn't see any apples anywhere on the ground. _Not a single one . . ._

Disappointed, Apple Bloom slowly began making her way back to the house. Suddenly, she was startled by a dull thud in the grass behind her. Ducking down under the old wagon she nervously scanned the area until she caught sight of a small red object nestled in the grass below her favorite tree. Grinning ear to ear the filly darted out from her hiding place and grabbed the apple, the delicious prize nestled between her hooves as she sat back on her hind quarters. _I did it! That'll show those two I can be just as . . . wait a second?_

Blinking, she looked up into the tree. _It shouldn't take that long for the apple to fall down, right?_

Rather than an answer she was met with another apple falling to the earth beside her. The tiniest bit of movement amongst the thick leaves called her attention to something she hadn't noticed before- a large, dark shadow nestled among the branches. And it was staring back at her!

Alarmed at the whatever-it-was in the tree Apple Bloom dropped the apple and fearfully inched backwards toward the relative safety of the old apple cart. The shadow continued to watch her movements without blinking. Without realizing it the young filly began to babble nervously. "U-um, you d-don't want ta eat me, Mr. Shadow. I don't think I taste v-very good at all. W-wouldn't you rather have a nice, j-juicy apple instead?"

_Wait. Apple?_

Pausing in her retreat, Apple Bloom's eyes darted from the two apples in the grass to the shadow in the apple tree. Back to the apples. Up to the shadow again. Down to the apples. Over to the shadow again. After several moments of this she noticed something else she had missed before. The shadow-thing's eyes definitely weren't scary at all. Rather, they sparkled like blue gems and seemed to glow with warmth and kindness.

Always one to trust her gut feelings, the filly quickly plucked up the courage to take several steps forward again. "Did you pick these apples for me?"

The sapphire-like eyes seemed to nod to her from the dark branches.

That was all Apple Bloom needed to see. Hopping up and down excitedly with a happy little grin she blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Thank you so much, Mr. Shadow! I was really hungry but I couldn't reach up and pick one so I tried buckin' some down but I guess AJ and Big Mac were right and-"

The shadow's blue eyes seemed to curve up as if it was smiling down at her. It gladly indulged her childish energy as she continued to say whatever came to mind.

"-since she's been so cranky on account of that old wagon bein' busted and-" she glanced back at the apple cart for a moment before looking back up at her new friend. "Did ya fix that old wagon up too, Mr. Shadow?"

Another nod.

Practically beaming, the filly stood up on her hind legs and planted her hooves on the tree trunk as if she wanted to jump up and give her new friend the biggest hug ever. "Thank you soooo much! That was really nice of you and-" her grateful speech was cut off by an adorable yawn. She raised a hoof to scratch at the back of her head sheepishly. "Sorry, I reckon I should get back to bed now. Applejack'll tan my hide if she finds out I'm not asleep."

Apple Bloom paused for a moment, squinting slightly in thought before suddenly perking up again. "Oh, I forgot to introduce myself! My name's Apple Bloom. Pleasure to meet ya, Mr. Shadow!"

Trotting over to the two apples and scooping them up, Apple Bloom pinned the shadow with some of the most potent puppy eyes ever witnessed. "I'll see ya'll again tomorrow night, right?"

Visibly flinching from the overdose of condensed sugary sweetness the shadow quickly nodded in acquiescence. The young filly was all smiles as she began making her way back to the house with her midnight snack. "G'night, Mr. Shadow! We can play and have all kinds of fun tomorrow!"

The shadow kept close watch on her retreating figure until she was safely inside the Apple family home. Moments later it disappeared in a blur of motion, not a single leaf rustling with the sudden movement.

By the time she reached her room the two apples had already been thoroughly devoured. Snuggling back into bed, Apple Bloom had one last thought before sleep reclaimed her. _I knew I was right! That tree really was special just like I thought!_

* * *

**Somewhere Down Ol' Yonder Road**

Naruto trotted down the road at a sedate pace as he sorted through his thoughts. Other strangely colorful ponies? That could talk? Was this how the afterlife was for everyone? This was starting to get just plain bizarre. _Those two sure were hilarious to listen to though. Hehe._

The little one, Apple Bloom, was certainly an adorable little bundle of energy. Although if anyone ever, even under heinous torture, questioned him about the use of the word 'adorable' even in his own head he would vehemently deny it until his last breath.

Still though, he had to wonder why it was that they could indulge in the luxury of actual speech and he could not. Maybe it was karmic payback for being such a loudmouth in his previous life? _Damn it, you'd think saving the world and all would give me enough good guy points to at least be able to hold a conversation in the afterlife. I __**really**__ need to have a word with whoever runs this whole operation._

Grumbling to himself (silently and in his own mind) the crimson-coated stallion continued to amble along the winding dirt path. At least he could feel satisfaction in that fixing up that old wagon surely earned him the apples he'd eaten to quell his gnawing hunger. What's more, he certainly felt the satisfaction of not having his own stomach try to devour itself. That was something, at least.

Coming to a sudden halt Naruto peered into the distance. Was that . . ? Yep, it definitely looked to be some sort of town. He could almost be surprised that there was, he assumed, a town full of these colorful talking ponies- but really. He'd seen the house at the apple orchard and said orchard even had a barn and several other buildings. For a moment he tried to wrap his brain around how exactly ponies built anything without the use of hands but decided it was probably best he not think on it too much.

With nothing else better to do the former human decided to explore this town- stealthily, of course. He was a ninja, after all. Err, ninja pony? Ninjy? Ponja? Nin-pony? Oh, whatever. _I'm a shinobi damnit!_

Little did young Naruto realize the eventual consequences of his actions, nor just how far said actions would echo throughout the land. **MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! BWAHAHA *cough* . . . Hah.**

* * *

Well, there was intended to be more to this chapter but . . . whatever. 3 less scenes won't kill you.


End file.
